I have two children - a girl, age 7 and a boy, age 4 - and one of the things I try to do is reinforce good things about them so they have a good self image. For instance, one of the things I will do is out of the blue say "You're cute" to them when I pass them in the hall, or we are just sitting in the kitchen or living room together, or any other randon situation when I'm with them. I know they like it by the smile on their face when I say it. I know it's getting through and I'm setting a good example when, on their own, they say the same thing to me, or even better, they say it to each other (during those times when they aren't fighting with each other).

Not intentionally of course, but I've just been too stinkin' busy to invest much in our relationship the last few weeks.

I arranged a surprise birthday party for her last month with a few other couples, and it was a big hit. But since then I've been working full time, coaching soccer, leading a youth group on Wed nights, and biking every chance I can get. Oh, and I teach a part-time class at PCC during the week in addition to my full-time day job, and have launched a few new web sites including the one you're visiting .

I don't consider any of these bad things - but when you add them all up together they amount to a jam packed week! And it's been going on for too long.

You can probably tell from the subject line that I have daughters, although I'm sure there are things that sons just have to have in order to feel like they're fitting in with their friends.

I grew up in a fairly low income household, and don't ever remember having any of the cool things my friends had. Back then boom boxes were hot (c'mon, remember all the guys carrying them around on their shoulders, wearing parachute pants, and... ok, you get the picture ).

I want my daughters to fit in, but I also want them to understand the value of working for something. My 7-year old daughter saved her chore money, birthday money, and Christmas money in order to buy a new bicycle for $80. Man was she ever determined, and I think she felt a big sense of accomplishment when she made her goal.

Helping your kids evaluate their lives on a daily basis is a habit that will serve them well over time. One way to do this is to go around the dinner table and ask each child to describe their Good, Great, Change. They love it - it's dedicated time for them to talk about themselves - and it also helps them recognize behaviors or actions that they could have changed or done differently.

Here's how it works.

1. Good: What was good about your day? What was one thing that you did or that happened to you that was good?
2. Great: Same question, but this time focus on the highlight of your day.
   

With only a year and a half remaining before reaching the big 40, I have set a personal goal of getting in the best physical shape of my life. It's about longevity. It's about being able to keep up with my children. And yes, it's a little about ego - I'm tired of the love handles. I don't bring the 6-pack abs to the pool anymore... I bring the whole keg

A month ago I bought a road bike - a Fuji Roubaix RC - and have been riding 20 to 30 miles a few times a week with some racing buddies in my community. It's very hilly where I live, and these guys have been riding and racing professionally for several years. It's been a great way to get in shape and I've teamed up with one of the guys to try and each lose 15 lbs by Christmas.

Since my time is limited with my son on the weekdays to a few hours between getting home and bedtime, I have tried to establish some Daddy time with him. Just the two of us. This not only gives Mom a much needed break, but allows us to build our own relationship between father and son. No mommies allowed (and he will tell her that!).

It has become such a common routine, that my son is disappointed when he doesn't get time with Daddy because the night got too busy. In those cases, we at least read a quick book together with a promise to spend more time the next night.

Though my days (and nights) can get quite busy at times, you can't forget to make time for your kids. You have to make the time!

Saturday nights at our house are "Daddy's t-shirt night", where all three kids go running to my closet to pick out a t-shirt that they'll wear to bed. It's a fun tradition that they'll always remember, and one I hope they'll carry into their own families some day.

Another thing I try to do is pray with each kid before bed. We switch off each night - I'll pray one night, they'll pray the next. It's a great way to connect, and also gives you a chance to ask what they'd like prayer for, and to find out what happened in their lives that day. Admittedly, I haven't been as diligent with this one lately, but plan to kick it back in gear.

I'm not referring to the cost of being a great dad, but rather "what's the cost _to my family_ when I strive to be great in my career or hobby?"

There are a few things at which I'm pretty sure I could be great. Not good, not very good, but really outstanding... if I really applied myself, really focused, and really worked hard. But I fear deep inside that the greatness would come with an expensive price tag. It might cost me my family. It might cost me my marriage. It definitely would not come free.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to excel, and many of us are in the role of sole or primary financial provider where our performance at work really mattes (raises aren't given to slackers). It's important that we do well in this role - our families depend on it. But where's the line between doing well and becoming obsessed with success?