The most frequently expressed frustration from my kids is hands down "it's not fair!" - Do you ever hear that from your kids?
My parents did a good job of trying to make things fair growing up, and we try hard with our kids as well. But there's a finite amount of attention that we as parents can provide to each child, and siblings naturally compete with each other for our time and attention – that's something I can certainly understand, having grown up with two younger brothers (and a sister who passed at an early age).
What really gets under my skin though is the continual "it's not fair" comments over every little thing that doesn't go their way! They didn't get to stay up late, or watch the movie they wanted to see, or get the treat they were craving after dinner… and the list goes on and on.
Basically, in their minds, it's just not fair that they didn't get exactly what they wanted.
Where does this attitude come from?
I think part of it is because they don't realize just how good they have things. They haven't been exposed enough to the tragedies and sufferings of the rest of the world. They take what they have for granted, which is human nature – and something we as adults find ourselves doing as well.
Last week my wife challenged our oldest daughter with a discussion of what truly isn't fair in the world:
Hunger and Famine – there are thousands of families in other countries who don't even get a single meal in a day.
Abuse and Neglect – there are children who are victimized by physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive parents, or that there are thousands of kids without parents due to tragedy, or without parental involvement due to selfish decisions and immaturity on the part of the parent.
Diseases and Handicaps – there are millions of people who die of incurable diseases like HIV, or who are confined to a wheelchair due to a handicap they didn't ask for.
What can we do to give our kids a dose of reality, and help them shift their focus away from the miniscule and petty concerns and onto the true unfairness that exists in the world?
One way is to give them a small taste of the hardships that others endure, such as participating in the 30-hour famine sponsored by WorldVision.
We can also sponsor a child from another country and learn about that child's life style together.
What are some ways that you have helped open the eyes of your kids, and helped them appreciate what "unfairness" truly is?
