I'm not referring to the cost of being a great dad, but rather "what's the cost _to my family_ when I strive to be great in my career or hobby?"

There are a few things at which I'm pretty sure I could be great. Not good, not very good, but really outstanding... if I really applied myself, really focused, and really worked hard. But I fear deep inside that the greatness would come with an expensive price tag. It might cost me my family. It might cost me my marriage. It definitely would not come free.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to excel, and many of us are in the role of sole or primary financial provider where our performance at work really mattes (raises aren't given to slackers). It's important that we do well in this role - our families depend on it. But where's the line between doing well and becoming obsessed with success?

I often find myself rationalizing "If I work a few more hours of overtime this week, I'll be able to make things more comfortable for my family next pay period... maybe even put some money down on that boat I've been eyeing..."

Those are not bad things, but what's the cost?? If I'm getting up early every morning and coming home late to make extra money (in order to be great at my career), but then am completely tired and cranky, then what kind of life is that?

I propose some level of _balance_ where I'm able to give 100% at work, but I'm not trading 110% of work for only 90% of family. I propose giving up - at least for now - on the dream of being exceptionally great at my career, or of bringing in enough money to retire early, or... you fill in the blank for your situation.

As a dad, it's not about me as much as it's about my family. That doesn't mean I can't make time for "me" - and I do; it just means that I need to balance that with the needs of my family.