Usually when someone asks this, they really mean "Is it ok to fight in front of your kids?"... but they don't want to admit that they actually fight, so they use the PC term "argue".

So now that you know what I'm really asking , let me paint the picture a bit. It's Thanksgiving morning, and my family is coming over in a few hours. The house needs to be cleaned, the kids need to be fed breakfast, my wife is scurrying around the kitchen cooking up a storm (she's an amazing gourmet chef), and somehow we started talking about finances.

I don't even remember how it came up, but the issue was my attitude towards money I make on my side business and whether or not I consider it truly our money after I earn it and before I take some of the profit and invest it back into the business. Sounds like a fun topic eh?

Well, it wasn't long before an hour had gone by with each of us going back and forth, back and forth - defending our positions and trying to convince each other how completely ridiculous they were being. Meanwhile the kids were in the family room attached to the kitchen, listening in and starting to ask if they were going to get breakfast any time soon, and if we could please keep it down so they could hear the parade.

We finally agreed that we needed to stop arguing and think about what each other was saying, and tended to the looming Thanksgiving day preparations. For me that meant that I had a couple of hours to think of ways to build my case better , although in the end I realized I needed to let go of control over this area of our finances. We were able to talk it out in a civilized manner, make up, get the house cleaned, make dinner, and all in time for the family arriving in the early afternoon.

It ended up being a great day, and I hope the kids come away from these exeriences realizing that disagreements and arguments are part of real life. I also hope we can teach them to listen to each other... to learn how to work through their frustrations with each other, with their friends, and with us too. Without loosing their temper, and without shouting at each other.