The familiar saying "Money isn't everything" is something most of us have heard many times - it's a reminder that there are things far more important than just money (family, friends, etc).
But we all still have to work in order to pay the bills, and the question has come up several times from my kids "why can't you come to school with me today?" or "why do you always have to go to work - why can't you stay home and play with me?". This last one came from my 5-year old just a couple days ago.
I think it's important for kids to understand that the house they live in, the clothes they wear, and the food they eat all cost money. But I don't want to stress them out either.
When they ask these kinds of questions, I explain that it takes money to pay for all of these things, and that I earn money when I work. They always want to know how much I make, and how much everything costs… but I don’t go into those details with them too much. I just keep it at a high level and use terms like “the house costs a lot of money” or “those shoes we just got you weren’t very expensive”.
My oldest daughter is our resident and self-admitted worry wart. She’ll sometimes even turn down our offers to buy her something that we know she would like to have, and when we prod a little we find out that it’s because she’s worried about how much it will cost us. So we’re careful to make sure she knows it’s ok and that we’re happy to spend it on her.
My parents did a good job teaching me the importance of money growing up. My dad was in the ministry and we never had much money. They did the best they could though, and encouraged me to mow lawns or deliver papers if I wanted more than what they could afford.
That used to drive me nuts at the time, but I look back now and realize that it taught me to work hard for the things I want, and that there are no hand-outs in life.
One other great thing they did for me was not let me spend money on a luxury when I should have been paying rent. I was in my late teens and still living with them, when I started earning enough money to buy a Jeep. So I thought.
Dad and Mom told me I was welcome to buy the Jeep, but that I’d have to start paying rent if I did. Man, that ticked me off so bad at the time! I though “they’re out to make my life miserable – why can’t they instead help me out and let me have this really cool Jeep?”.
Looking back on that experience now, I think they did just the right thing. They were helping me make choices that lined up with the reality I’d soon be facing when I moved out on my own.
They prepared me for making wise choices with my money, and I think we should continue to do that for our kids. Not to stress them out, or make them feel guilty, but rather to ensure that they are well-equipped for making wise financial decisions when they grow older.
